7 Things You Shouldn’t Do After A Breakup

Throughout our lives, I’m sure many of us have watched movies that portray how our hero or heroine has reacted after going through a massive breakup. Whether it was Joseph Gordon-Levitt in 500 Days of Summer, hating the world and walking around in a fog for months after his girlfriend leaves, or Renee Zellweger getting wasted as Bridget Jones and singing at the top of her lungs – we have witnessed behaviour that is portrayed as a normal reaction to them.

Grieving is a completely natural process, and the loss of a relationship is one of the most painful feelings we will experience in our lives. It’s safe to say I’ve had my share of breakups over the years and I’ve learned that engaging in some types of behaviours is going to make me feel much worse instead of better in the long run.

So, if you don’t want to end up just hurting yourself more, I suggest you don’t do any of the following 7 things the next time you break up with someone:

01. DON’T DRINK YOURSELF TO DEATH

Believe it or not, the memories aren’t going to fade forever when you go out and get completely inebriated. When you wake up the next morning you’ll likely look back at the night before with horror – and no doubt be left with the mother of all hangovers. It’s just not worth it.

Getting drunk is a temporary fix to something that just isn’t going to go away. Don’t end up crying and puking in the toilet of a bar surrounded by strangers. Work through the pain and accept that it’s okay to feel hurt for a while.

02. DON’T STALK THEIR SOCIAL MEDIA

What does it matter what they’re doing or where they are eating tonight? It’s over and you have to accept this or you’re going to extend the time it takes for you to move on. You need to get your life back on track and stalking their Instagram and Facebook to see if they’re dating someone isn’t going to help.

This is going to be one of the hardest things to do so if you need to block or hide their feed to help yourself (which most of us find we have to do) then please do it. I promise a breakup is a lot easier if you can’t see what they’re getting up to every day.

03. DON’T SLEEP WITH HIS FRIENDS

It seems like a great idea at the time – and who doesn’t want to get revenge on their ex – especially if they did the dumping? But let’s face it, it’s not a great idea and you’re going to end up shooting yourself in the foot. You’re going to be sad and lonely and will probably develop feelings for whatever friend you decide to pursue. If the friend then decides to pursue you, you will end up hurting your ex’s relationship with his friend and make yourself look terrible.

This will most likely result in more people getting hurt or you ending up in another relationship when you’re not ready to date again. So do yourself a favour and resist the urge!

04. DON’T JUMP INTO ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP

I have to admit that I’ve been guilty of this one on more than one occasion. I would be going through a breakup and immediately begin talking to someone new and start up a relationship. It would help temporarily, but none of those relationships ever worked out because I was either still or mess or didn’t even like them that much.

Jumping straight into another relationship leaves you no time to grieve, heal, or work on yourself. Everyone needs time and waiting to pursue love again is one of the best things you can do for yourself in this sort of situation.

05. DON’T INSTANTLY TRY TO BE FRIENDS

I truly believe that in some cases ex’s can most certainly be friends. But you can’t go from relationship to friends in two seconds. It’s impossible to go from being romantically involved to friends without some room to breathe in the middle. Give each other the time and space that both of you needs to heal.

It’s also good to remember that you have absolutely no obligation to be friends with your ex. If you don’t want to have any kind of relationship in the future, then that is completely okay.

06. DON’T SPEND ALL YOUR TIME ALONE

Should you spend some time alone to reflect on your breakup and indulge in some self-care? Of course! However, this is also the time you should be utilising other relationships you have. Call an old friend, try a new hobby with a buddy, or go and see a show …

You may have unknowingly neglected your friends and family for your relationship, so this is the time to make amends and remember that it’s important to work on other relationships too.

07. DON’T FORGET TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

It’s easy to be absolutely miserable and lament the fact that you’re going to spend the rest of your life alone, even though that’s not true. But self-pity and drowning your sorrows isn’t going to be the way to go forever. Now is the time to indulge in some self-care and rediscover who you really are, what you love, and what you want for the future.

7 Things You Shouldn't Do After A Breakup

Are you guilty of doing any of these things when going through a breakup?
Be sure to let me know in the comments below!

Louise x

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36 Comments

  1. May 16, 2020 / 3:29 pm

    Don’t sleep with his friends omg yes! Lol.

  2. May 16, 2020 / 6:35 pm

    I was disappointed, but my heart was never broken by a finished love story, strange right?

  3. May 16, 2020 / 11:19 pm

    I so agree with the not drinking because I have had a bad experience with that. I didn’t really wanna go out then but my friends saw how sad and depressed I was that they really forced me for a night out. I got so drunk, I was puking at the toilet, and I kept saying how I hated my ex. And thank God that only happened once. I only sleep my heartbreaks off, and stay in bed for as long as I can. I sleep too much when I am sad, but I’ll get over it and wake up happier the next days ahead.

  4. May 17, 2020 / 12:41 am

    Okay – these are so great things to remember when you might be in a bad place right after a breakup. If we are honest, we all think some crazy things right after getting out of a relationship! It is so helpful to have someone remind you that the feelings are temporary and making good choices will help you heal from it more quickly and not accumulate more baggage in the process.

  5. blnca
    May 17, 2020 / 2:13 am

    OMG! I can’t believe people would do number 3. That’s just…icky. I say the best thing is to grab your friends, watch a bunch of romantic movies, and then start the day with a good run. Oh – and I’m no teetotaler, but the drinking one is a very good one. Alcohol is a depressant, so while it elates you at first, it depresses you later.

  6. Kristine Nicole Alessandra
    May 17, 2020 / 6:53 am

    These are all sound advice. When my first marriage fell apart, I made sure that I took better care of myself. I wanted my ex to know that he was the one on the losing end. As long as you can bring back your confidence, you will be fine. And the best thing is to NOT rush into another relationship.

  7. May 17, 2020 / 8:51 am

    Ya….Its an amazing….These things are really very helpful one would never do anything which can hurt themself for a silly breakup……. Life gives second chances to everyone should take that and can be a better person than before….Staying positive and happy are the best ways to avoid all of the silly things….💯✔

  8. May 17, 2020 / 8:56 am

    I’m normally the one breaking it off, so I never do any of these destructive things. I also enjoy being single, so I go years between relationships.

  9. Monidipa
    May 17, 2020 / 10:08 am

    Which girl in right mind will sleep with his friends? But yes we often forget to take care of ourselves and stalking omg…. I had seen my friends stalking their exs. It hurts but still. Drinking to death I had done… but next day I had work to I woke up alive.

    • Louise
      Author
      May 17, 2020 / 11:45 am

      Believe it or not, I see it a lot with the younger generation. It’s awful!

  10. May 17, 2020 / 2:59 pm

    Great advice! We definitely should avoid self-destructive things after a breakup. Part of it is finding ways to redirect your mental energy into something positive. Maybe art or exercise?

  11. May 17, 2020 / 3:00 pm

    I can’t say I’ve done any of these bar the first one after a breakup. I used to just drink the pain away but it’s been a while since I’ve been heart broken like that, so I’ve no idea how I’d react now!
    Great post!

  12. Rosey
    May 17, 2020 / 3:28 pm

    That social media is the hardest one to avoid. Even if you don’t do it for a long time, eventually you mosey on over ‘just to take a look’ and the ‘look’ doesn’t make you feel one bit better. Def. best to avoid in full.

  13. May 17, 2020 / 4:26 pm

    This is the right way to handle it..plus always remember that time is the best doctor..and never do things that you’ll regret in the future!

  14. Jay Aguirre
    May 17, 2020 / 4:33 pm

    Ahh this is such good advice. I went through a tough breakup a few years back and was guilty of a few of these things but eventually I was able to move on!

  15. May 17, 2020 / 5:41 pm

    It’s always difficult to exit form a breakup and everyone faces it in a way… Your tips are good to follow if you don’t want to lose your minde for something over. – Amalia

  16. May 17, 2020 / 8:43 pm

    Love that all these make sense and are really important to be noted after a breakup.

  17. May 17, 2020 / 11:33 pm

    Great advice for those in the dating stage. If it’s meant ti be it will be, don’t swell on it!

  18. May 17, 2020 / 11:41 pm

    Such great advice for any form of grief. This is great information for anyone going through something hard in their life.

  19. Gervin Khan
    May 18, 2020 / 6:56 am

    These are definitely a great advice. Don’t let your feelings over-power you, make time for yourself, spend time with your families and friends and I am sure it will help you to overcome your heartache.

  20. Melanie williams
    May 18, 2020 / 9:16 am

    There are some really good tips here for sure for the newly single. not drinking excessively is a big no no

  21. Sudipta Dev
    May 18, 2020 / 11:30 am

    Great post that offers wonderful tips on what not to do after a breakup. This is truly helpful for newly single people.

  22. May 18, 2020 / 9:42 pm

    Great advice! I will admit, I am guilty of a couple of these over the years! I definitely relied on alcohol to heal wounds in the past, and that just landed me with a horrible hangover while still dealing with the same emotions… talk about making things worse!

  23. May 18, 2020 / 10:11 pm

    Such a great post with brilliant advice! Breakups can be hard but it’s important to help ourselves heal.

  24. KAYLIN VINES
    May 19, 2020 / 2:44 am

    I could have used this when my ex of 5 years and I broke up, I defiantly did a lot of these. This article is informative but straight to the point. Thank you!

  25. May 19, 2020 / 5:09 pm

    These are great advices! Some people are into self destructing mode after a break up. We should always remember that when bad things happen, a good one is just around the corner. It is up to us how we treat ourselves during low times. Our own perspective really counts. Always be positive. Life is good!

  26. May 21, 2020 / 9:57 pm

    Well, this is really helpful. Girls should focus more on improving one’s self every after break up 🙂 This is such a great list.

  27. September 13, 2020 / 8:17 pm

    It can be so tempting to do many of these things after a breakup, especially if it was an acrimonious split. I definitely have been guilty of the first.

  28. September 14, 2020 / 9:20 am

    Such a great post. All these tips are true. I’ve never done any of these, most of my relationships should have ended much sooner than they did so I was usually quite relieved to be out of them. Which in itself isn’t healthy.

  29. September 14, 2020 / 10:20 am

    Ooops, totally done a few of these and I’m pretty embarrassed to admit which ones!

    • Louise
      Author
      September 21, 2020 / 10:55 am

      Aargh, Rachel! I’m intrigued as to which ones you’ve done now lol

  30. September 15, 2020 / 3:41 pm

    Some very sensible advice here. I think we all do rash things, especially when it happens when we are young, but the benefit of hindsight……..

  31. Helen
    September 21, 2020 / 11:05 am

    These are great tips and will really help someone going through such a tough time! I definitely think staying off their social media is good advice 🙂

  32. September 21, 2020 / 2:09 pm

    I’ve done a few of these in the past, thankfully a long time ago now.

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