How To Help Your Relationship Survive Lockdown

I think it’s safe to say the strain that the Coronavirus is putting on our lives is immense. From reading the Facebook statuses that a lot of my friends have posted I know it’s affecting most relationships in one way or another. And it seems that one of the biggest concerns people have is that their relationship isn’t going to make it.

Believe it or not, it makes perfect sense to feel like you’re struggling in your relationship right now. I mean, we’re stuck inside our homes, being forced to spend more time together than ever before, and we’re relying on our partners for almost all of our social support because we can’t see our family or friends. We’re balancing new responsibilities like working from home, homeschooling or housekeeping. It’s a lot of change all at once. But at the same time, some people feel guilty acknowledging they have relationship worries because it seems like there are much bigger issues to worry about.

It’s OK to admit that your relationship is being affected by the Coronavirus crisis, though. So why not give some of my tips for supporting your relationship during these tough times a try? After all, you’ve got nothing to lose …

Young couple in bed together

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

Looking after your relationship has to start with looking after yourself. It’s simply too much to expect your partner to be your sole source of stress relief. Here are some of my favourite forms of self-care during this difficult time:

Allow yourself to feel your feelings – It’s normal to feel a whole range of different emotions right now. I for one often wake up feeling happy and ready to face the day ahead, but an hour or two later I might read a text from a loved one or see a news article that tugs at my heartstrings, and from then on I become an emotional wreck. But it’s OK. When you give yourself permission to feel the full range of your emotions and validate that what you’re feeling makes sense, emotions dissipate much faster.

Keep a journal – Spend 5 to 10 minutes each day writing down your thoughts and feelings in a journal. I find writing them down helps my mental health a lot. And in years to come, I’ll be able to look back on my words and remember a time when things were tough, but I sure as hell managed to get through.

Meditate – Meditation is one of the absolute best things you can do for your mental health. And you can find loads of videos on YouTube to help you with this.

Move your body – The rush of endorphins you get from exercise can be invaluable for managing stress, improving your mood and even boosting your immunity. And if you can safely go outside while you exercise, that’s even better!

Seek other sources of connection – Reach out to friends and relatives when you feel like you’re struggling. But without your partner by your side. I’ve found that since joining in our family quiz night’s on Zoom every Monday and Friday night I’ve handled my emotions a lot better than I was doing before. Seeing a friendly face or two every now and then is brilliant for boosting your mood!

Happy couple laughing together

MAKE A PLAN

Whether you recently met and decided to go all out and self-isolate together or you’ve been living together for years, it’s important to sit down with your partner to discuss everything that’s on your plate and make a plan for how you’re going to handle it as a team. Create a shared calendar with all of your tasks and responsibilities, and carve out specific times for when you’re going to do them.

I recommend having a quick weekly meeting every Sunday to anticipate the week ahead – schedule and map out as much as you can. I also recommend a brief meeting at the end of each day to discuss the plan for the next day. There are so many things that we can’t control right now, but it can feel good to have a plan for the things we can control.

Couple having dinner together

CHECK-IN WITH EACH OTHER DAILY

Planning for the next day is one thing, but it is also important to remember that your partner is not a robot and probably experiencing the same range of emotions that you are. It can be useful to stop and ask each other questions like:

  • What was your day like today?
  • What sorts of feelings are coming up for you right now?
  • Are there any ways I can support you or be a better partner?

Even if you don’t currently live with your partner, it’s still a good idea to check in with them daily. It lets them know you’re thinking of them during all this uncertainty.

Couple playing chess together

BE INTENTIONAL ABOUT TIME SPENT TOGETHER

You’re probably spending more time together than ever before. As much as you love your partner, this can quickly lead to tension and frustration. So be sure to set yourself some healthy boundaries:

  • If you’re both currently working from home, it’s important to try and carve out separate workspaces. If you can close a door between the two of you, that’s brilliant. If not, consider sticking in your headphones and listening to some of your favourite tunes while you work so you don’t get distracted by your partner.
  • Try to give each other space during the day. If you can, limit your verbal communication. Try texting like you would if you were out at work instead. This will give you some sort of normality in an otherwise unusual time.
  • It’s normal to feel like you need alone time. Be creative about how you can achieve this. For example, maybe you can trade off taking the morning shift with the kids so you give each other the chance to lie in bed alone for a few precious moments.
  • Be creative with date nights. Sticking to (or starting) a date night tradition can bring some much-needed joy and anticipation into your relationship. Try visiting a museum online, reading a book to each other or cooking an elaborate meal together. If you don’t happen to live with your significant other, why not try out some of my virtual dating ideas? You’d be surprised at how much you can do together, despite not being in the same room!

Young guy surprising his girlfriend with flowers

PRACTICE APPRECIATION AND GRATITUDE

It’s safe to say these next few months are going to be a challenge for everyone. None of us are going to be perfect partners. All you can do is try your best and thank each other for being willing to make an effort. Why not tell your partner: “I see all the work you’ve been doing. Thank you.” As challenging as everything is at this time, there’s also a lot to be grateful for. Try to share a few things you’re grateful for every few days. The more gratitude you express, the more often you’ll find yourself noticing little moments to appreciate. And we could all use more of those right now, couldn’t we?

How To Help Your Relationship Survive Lockdown

Do you have any other tips for helping your relationship survive lockdown?
If so, be sure to let me know in the comments below.

Louise x

Twitter | Facebook | Instagram | Pinterest

26 Comments

  1. May 2, 2020 / 12:59 pm

    This is a deepening that really struck me and that above all I read in one breath is really a way of reflecting and dwelling on what really matters in a relationship.

  2. May 4, 2020 / 2:09 am

    Such great tips! Me and hubby are definitely going to try some of these

  3. May 4, 2020 / 3:06 am

    I like the idea of a day round up and a week round up. That gets you talking about important issues. Taking time for yourself and meditating is very good for the brain. Good ideas here.

  4. Kristine Nicole Alessandra
    May 4, 2020 / 6:31 am

    My two sons have not seen their girlfriends for almost two months, but they do make it a point to talk to each other online – video calls, messaging, phone calls. It is important to stay connected during this time. My youngest son said this time has given him and his girlfriend to talk about more important things – like future plans, and career changes.

  5. May 4, 2020 / 6:11 pm

    I won’t lie, it’s a challenge. And that’s coming from a husband and wife who have both worked from home together for 10 years.

  6. May 4, 2020 / 7:11 pm

    I have to say I think our relationship is taking a hit right now because any free time we would normally have is now allocated to work in the evenings….I know it won’t be forever but it does create a certain distance.

  7. May 4, 2020 / 8:24 pm

    It is pretty hard with this lockdown, especially since so much that we all took for granted means a whole lot more now. I agree that you have to take care of yourself, being healthy is important and being able to rely on yourself for your own good feelings is so paramount. And when you do see your beau, enjoy each other in any way you can. Communication is always king.

  8. May 4, 2020 / 11:01 pm

    For us i think the greatest thing is spending a bit of time apart. I like to take my exercise alone and work along so when wehcome together we have something to talk about.

  9. Bella
    May 5, 2020 / 2:53 am

    Thanks for sharing this info! my boyfriend is still working so we didnt have to do this thankfuly but this is such great tips.

  10. May 5, 2020 / 4:22 am

    so many great tips! it can definitely be hard on a relationship to be constantly in each other’s space.

    kileen
    cute & little

  11. Tisha
    May 5, 2020 / 5:37 am

    These are all such a great tips. Something I can definitely share with my friends and family in relationships.

  12. Lisa
    May 5, 2020 / 9:03 am

    These are some great tips for many of us. Relationships have been challenging during lockdown. Keeping a journal and meditation is a great idea.

  13. May 5, 2020 / 10:22 am

    I love the idea of being intentional with how we spend our time together. Being in lockdown can really test a lot of couples and your advice is totally spot-on.

  14. May 5, 2020 / 11:01 am

    I still prefer some me time during the day and in the evening probably we can still go for a walk to relax.

  15. May 5, 2020 / 12:22 pm

    Great tips. The lockdown is over here (after 57 days) and I’m happy to say that my husband and I are not devorcing lol

  16. May 5, 2020 / 3:05 pm

    This is defiantly a time to take a good look at your relationship and make sure it’s strong. Great tips!

  17. May 5, 2020 / 3:41 pm

    Meditation has been my go to in lockdown, it helps me refocus and see everything in clear view.

  18. May 5, 2020 / 4:30 pm

    My hubby and I get along ok thankfully, I did wonder how we would deal being with each other 24/7 but i do think our kids quite often split us up to help with learning or refereeing! We love Zoom, we get together with friends over zoom once a week for quiz nights.
    We go for family walks for hubby and I will go for runs on our own just so we can clear our heads.

  19. May 5, 2020 / 4:57 pm

    These are good ways to stay healthy, both physically and emotionally. It is good to have some tips for surviving being in quarantine.

  20. May 5, 2020 / 8:37 pm

    These are the kinds of things I would love to do but my husband is not a talker when it comes to feelings, he just has a get on with it attitude which can be rather unhelpful some days. We seem to be doing okay at the moment though

  21. May 5, 2020 / 9:18 pm

    I must say at the beginning we were submerged by the huge change that represented this lockdown to our routine. But now we have finally adapted and it’s going well for us.

  22. May 6, 2020 / 7:39 am

    We’ve been married for slightly over a year now and I thought this lockdown was going to be a test on our marriage. But I’m so happy to discover that we are really good together, while we learn more about the other.

  23. May 6, 2020 / 8:41 am

    I’m in lockdown with my boyfriend of a year and was a bit worried about how we’d get on but I have to say it’s been fine. We give each other space, focus on our own projects and then come together. In all the madness, it’s been really nice to have this stability.

  24. Ankana
    May 6, 2020 / 3:52 pm

    Lockdown is kinda tricky and how family members cope up. Sometimes if you don’t give everyone their space things might blow up and lead to confrontations. It’s better to get yourselves engaged in activities that keep you occupied.

  25. May 6, 2020 / 5:57 pm

    Honestly, being on lockdown together has really strengthened our relationship. We are getting to know each other so much more.

  26. May 6, 2020 / 6:29 pm

    Thanks for these amazing relationship-building tips! We’ve gotta stay connected during this time.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.